A sort of return.

Whilst I reading over old posts from 2009 and 2010 I was struck by a few completely self-serving and simultaneously illuminating thoughts: 1. During my time blogging I felt consistently inadequate. No word or phrase ever entirely details what I'm trying to convey. I hate the process of writing for this very reason. 2. What I might have remembered as mediocre entries (to say the least) in terms of this blog were actually quite amusing to me in retrospect and not at all poorly written. 3. My life has changed tremendously since the conception of this blog, but I wouldn't necessarily say it was for the worse. I see my current self in many of my former entries and despite the differences in my current outlook, I actually LIKE the girl who started this blog as much as I like the woman I am today.

I still have much to say on the subjects of Japanese pop music, feminism, figure skating and moon-speak so I'll try to make a more conscious effort to update. I'm unsure as to who, if anyone, still comes through this nonsense from time to time, but if for nothing else, I can write for myself and in the future smile as I re-read my entries.

My AKB48 Top Five!

As evidenced by my recent post fangirling over their latest kick-ass B side, AKB48 is probably my number one J-Pop group at the moment. I don't know the name of every girl in every stage yet (here's a hint: there are at least 48), and I don't know how I feel about the show choir aspects of watching stages (if I did it would be Stage K, fyi), but the singles have been, as of late, way better than the tired shit Hello! Project is regurgitating. Also, wow, these girls are exceptionally fun and cute! So without further ado or parenthesis: かわいい!!!

5. Erena Ono

Why? Her presence. Could be her smooshy little lolibait face, could be the fact she makes you feel like a complete pedophile for admiring her dancing, but when I watch an AKB48 video I always am drawn to whatever Erena's not doing.

4. Minami Minegishi

Why? She's the stellar superstar dancer of AKB48! And despite looking about all of 15 years old, in a recent interview with the other members they named her "charm points" as being rebellious and thighs. Ahem.

3. Sae Miyazawa

Why? This is a picture of Sae after her parents were killed and her house was burned to the ground. Maybe. I don't know what must happen in her life, but she is so goddamn happy that I want to bottle her essence and use it in place of my Lithium.

2. Sayaka Akimoto

Why? Because I think that her and I could spend the rest of our lives together in a little house near a lake with two cats in the yard and Erena Ono as our adoptive daughter and we would be so happy with this arrangement that gay marriage would be legalized just by the evidence of our happiness. Also, she's the best singer in AKB48 (imho, haters).

1. Tomomi Kasai

Why? I've read that her "droopy eyes" always make her look "emo". I've read that her voice is so high and annoying it can set off car alarms. I've read that she may or may not be able to read and her ability to divide two digit numbers might be lacking. However, she is my number one. I love that she loves her cat "Naa-chan". I love that she seems sort of demented and insane in a lovable, darling way. I think she's a fine dancer, singer and presence. Mostly I think her "droopy eyes" make me fixate on the kind of physical discrepancies (for lack of a better phrase)that I find absolutely delicious. That's right. She beat out Sayaka for having droopy eyes. And goodnight.

Hello Project Ranking 2010 Groups

Rika Ishikawa's Ipod

This picture was totally posted on her blog the other day when she was showing off her decoden (phone decorating) skills. While she's pretty good at sparkles, what caught my eye is what she was listening to when she took the picture.



If you're old and can't read the screen it says RADIOHEAD - IDIOTEQUE

Turns out Yossy's dream girl and I have something in common.

Asian "Urban" Pop You Should Listen To.

Despite evidence (my blog) to the contrary, there is actually non bubblegum or ballad Asian pop in existence. While there is quite a bit of pretty laughable A-HipHop/Rap out there, there are a few gems in the interpretation of "urban music" (a term I sort of deplore, but can't find a replacement for) in Asian culture. Taiwan and S. Korea do an especially good job of coming out with fresh rhythms and decent concepts.

The elements are all similar to late 80s/early 90s Western pop/hip hop really. Typically you have a female soloist for the refrain, a male lead, the subject matter is ultimately pretty light, and the style of the PV is a bit like the opening of Fresh Prince, with some exceptions of course. Here are a few of my favorites, that to me at least, demonstrate that while there may not be a terrible amount of substance behind most J/C or K Hip Hop, the creativity level is still far surpassing a lot of Western Top 40 hits.

J-Urban:

Heartsdales feat. Soul'd Out: Candy Pop!



So'fly!: LAST SUMMER



K-Urban:

E.via: Hey! (E.via is banned from Korean radio due to her inclination to rap about fucking, so enjoy it here!)



F{x}: Chocolate Love (electro pop vers.) (I know f{x} isn't technically k-urban, but I have to love on Amber, for being the cutest androgynous Korean rapper I've ever seen)



T-Urban:

Elva Hsiao: Biao Bai



Free Style: Y (Please Tell Me Why)

AKB48 - Majisuka Rock'n Roll (PV)

AKB48's single "Majisuka Rock'n Roll" screen captures and my thoughts, because this is my new favorite PV!

The story starts with Acchan who I won't bother to screencap here, because I find her so offensively dull, as a little Willow like nerd attending some bad-ass yakuza high school where everyone looks ridiculously hot.

First up:
I will call this "bad girl" look the "ethereal bad girl who has a name like Heaven or Misty or something who makes you feel sexually confused by in middle school". Tomo is working her shit out here. Look at that stare. Haruna on the left and whoever on the right seem to be working their Garland swag as well.

I couldn't forget about my lovely Sayaka on the left working my favorite high school bad girl look: "I'm sullen and I don't want to be here". The pout asks for a pony, but the hair asks only for a healthy amount of conditioner.

I hate to say that Yuko is clearly going for the sexy-dyke bad girl look in this PV, but check out that eighties curl and contemptuous smirk. She's totally drawing me in. I also dig her spaced teeth and the way she looks like she's about to kick someone in the balls.

I wish there had been kabuki bad girls in my high school. That's it, really.


This scene is clearly the most awesome scene on the PV. Badass goth loli girls. A personal favorite. There's actually quite a lot of fighting in this PV. Goth loli's come in by smiling sadistically, then kicking over another girl who sprawls over the classroom floor. Cinematic win!

The final fight with Acchan. I love Mariko in the hideous fur coat. I wanted to get a decent cap of her closeup this PV, but when her mouth is open it really ruins the effect.

SULLEN LOVE ACCHAN. This is the only time I have ever cared for this idol, but when a girl takes off her glasses and stares at me listlessly I suddenly find her very relevant. Unfortunately, this will probably be the only time I find her compelling. Ever.

Hello Project Live!

Happy Late Valentine's Day (With Obligatory Fetishization of Culture)

Thing to stare at this week: SNSD Oh!

My votes are on the girl with pigtails and a green flannel shirt with the bedroom eyes. Ahem.

2.12.10

Dad,
I can't believe how much it snowed today. If you were here I would ask you if this was the most snow you'd ever seen in Texas knowing that you'd probably talk about the Winter of '89. I remember that winter, you know? I got stuck outside with one glove missing and cried. But if you were home now I'd ask you anyways and tell you not to go to the office even though you'd probably try to go anyways once the snow melted off a bit. Today would have been your 66th birthday and it will be snowy just like the day you died. I wonder if it means something? You didn't like the cold. You left Michigan, because it was too cold. I didn't visit you today. Work was too busy. You told me once that there was a job you had in New York where you had to program computers for 60 hours a week seven days a week and how it made you feel so tired. You'd think this snow was neat though. The branches of the trees across the street touch the ground, they're so heavy. I miss you calling me "kid" and I miss you in general. Just the other day I told Lee that secretly Whiskers is my favorite pet even though he's the most anti-social. The truth is he reminds me a bit of you, because he gets through all day and then looks at me when I get home, eats his dinner, and then sits quietly next to me on the couch. Did it ever snow this much? It's a lot of snow, I mean the bushes out front have fallen down and your car is covered in white.

2009 In Fandoms: Part One.

So I know I haven't updated in a long time (hello, real life!), but I miss writing things down and there's all sorts of geeky shit that I haven't even gotten to force upon you. All of this stuff is already so last year, but here's a recap, for my own records if nothing else, about what I was into/no longer into/over or pulling out the vibrator to celebrate in 2009. Three things at a time.

1) MASS WOTA SUICIDE DAY aka THE DAY THAT ELDER CLUB was fired GRADUATED FROM HELLO!PROJECT. (March):

Don't worry about learning the names of these grown ass women. They've all been let go.

In other words: Now the average age of Hello Project has to be about 15. The first concert I see in Japan will probably end with me talking to Chris Hansen.

The loss of Elder Club was a big fangirl tearjerker for me. They had what current Morning Musume has very little of at the moment: personality. Not everyone was a carbon copy of everyone else. It was also nice to be able to show non-fans clips of Elder Club performances and not have the question, "wait, how old are these girls?" arise in some sort an awkward pause where I have to find the oldest girl in the group and say something like WELL MAIMI IS EIGHTEEN. Elder club was (mostly) older than me and now my Hello!Project fandom is running out of legit, non-creepy excuses.

The other downside of the graduation was Yossy's hair. Why the fuck did they give her that Madonna color and cut? I hate her hair up and I hate it blonde, but I guess it doesn't really matter, because by 2009 she was so thin I couldn't really find her onstage anyways.

2) New fandom obsession: Xena.
Can you believe that, as a card carrying, fantasy following, complete social retard lesbian, I never watched an entire episode of Xena before this year? Me neither. I remember seeing parts of episodes as a kid, but I don't think I was old enough to really figure out what was going on. What is going on, ladies and gentlemen, is some very well written camp goodness that makes me look up embarrassing search terms on Google such as "Xena Gabrielle bdsm uberfic". Hint: if you use this search term you will find some GREAT SHIT. I want to write more about this (and hurt/comfort fic!), but it deserves it's own entry so I'll only give it a brief mention here.

3) Oh, H!P also fired graduated this girl:

Excuse my uncontrollable sobbing.

Hello!Online: Erika Umeda Will Graduate from C-ute!
Entire Internet Community: Great! She was fucking ugly!

Seriously, this is exactly how it went down. I'd like to write something really insightful about how as a feminist and a wota I have such a problem with the inherent worth of women in Japanese entertainment being solely judged by their "kawaii" factor, but instead I'd just like to say: WHAT THE FUCK. LOOK AT HOW FUCKING HOT SHE IS. YOU ARE ALL HATERS AND PROBABLY PEDOPHILES.

PEDOPHILES:

Things I am Thankful For #1

Hero

This is the most recent video of Michelle Kwan figure skating to the beautiful piece Carmima Burana.

After her last failed Olympic attempt ABC aired a completely understated and lovely four minute long tribute to Kwan that I will link below, because I can't even articulate the words necessary to describe my admiration for this woman. For me she defines artistry, she defines athleticism, she translates her heart into the tiniest motions of her fingertips and the most powerful deep edges that ride tenderly along the ice.

Ogawa Makoto/Happy Girl

This girl has bizarrely been described as everything from slightly unattractive to hideous on message boards in my fandom. Always the outlier, I find her wildly appealling. She's a strong singer, a stellar dancer, incredibly funny, and is incurably cheerful. The fact she's the most rumored lesbian in MoMusu outside of (or with) Yoshizawa (who she refers to as BOSS in her blog by the way, what in the slashy heck?) has nothing to do with it, I swear.

Morning Musume 2003 Color Guide

Appropriate Number of Sexual Deviants (Purple): Four and all allegedly involving Yoshizawa.
Appropriate Number of Bad Girls Who Will be Asked to Leave the Group (Blue): Three (Miki Fujimoto wins two honors! You go, Fujimoto!).
That Girl I Hate Sure Has Been Around Awhile (Red): One
Pretty Background Noise: The Rest

In short, 2003 was my favorite group of Morning Musume.

Watashi no Mirai no Dannasama no MY HEART<3

Damn it all to hell that I can't find a HD version of this video on youtube to make decent screencaps with. The new Berryz Koubou double side PV releases came out Sunday and while I, like everyone else, am not a Ryusei Boy fan the B side (or alternative A side?) Watashi no Mirai no Dannasama is PURE SPUN GOLD serves to remind me why, as a whole, I like Berryz Koubou a hell of a bit more than Morning Musume these days. Berryz doesn't take itself seriously. It's unpretentious camp fun every single. The girls have more personality and energy and I still am interested in anything anyone of them is doing. Demonstration of idol prowess or demonstration of my absent life: you decide!

Sugaya Risako is the image that pops into my mind whenever anyone uses the term "lolita". She has clearly perfected the art. I'm not saying that I find a fourteen year old to be attractive (I will wait until she is seventeen), but I have no doubt that she could be a serial killer or a dominatrix and no one would be any the wiser.

Dear Lee, You are so funny and sexy and kawaii~nee! I would totally love to boss you around and make you admire my Alyson Hannigan S4 Willow hair and strong jaw. Thanks for being a fan! xoxo, Natsuyaki Miyabi

Maasa Sudou is considered (not by me) to be the 'fat' girl in Berryz, which apparently makes me a chub chaser. However, those who claim that she is the 'fat' girl are normally Tanaka Reina fans, and that girl desperately needs a sandwich or perhaps an IV drip of some fluids.

Yurina Kumai or Yurina OH MY depending on how much dignity you want to lose. I'll just say that she's literally six feet tall. Her nickname is the "Tower of Berryz". Oh Yurina. Doki Doki desu ka.

Per Request of Other Idol Wota: Real Time Concert Review

If you click the embedded player I will talk to you with my VOICE, but about things you probably don't care about! Also enjoy my breathing that gets CREEPILY HEAVIER as I continue to fangirl over Ai-chan's expressions during this set.

Yoshizawa x RAINBOW Braceletzawa

Freaks and Geeks

This show was improbably one of the best series from the late nineties that no one paid attention to. It was also the only time I think Seth Rogen or That Other Guy He's Always With Jason Segel were ever really, really funny. Plus it has James Franco and Busy Phillips, both of who I will admit are Very Attractive People. Watch this clip as it will teach you valuable lessons about "having fun" (which is how my father claims I got this ear infection) and enjoy the always charming acting of Sarah Hagan (Buffy's Millie from Season 7, who's strangely also named Millie here and playing what appears to be an earlier version of the exact same character).



So I bet the fanfic for Freaks and Geeks is a lot of Franco/Segel slash that I have no desire to read, but still, why was this amazing show canceled? The fandom possibilities were endless.

...and skating news. EDIT: Sasha Cohen Withdrew WHAT A FUCKING SHOCK PFFFT.

For whatever reason Skate America is not the first event of the season this year. Instead we're treated to the event with what I feel is always at least the best camera work, Trophee Eric Bompard in Paris.

Here is the TV schedule, because I know some of you aren't at SU with me anymore to have me remind you on a daily basis when skating will happen, a shame:

NBC Sports/Universal Sports Trophee Eric Bompard Broadcast Schedule
Friday, Oct. 16 (Universal Sports) - 5-7 p.m. ET/Encore Presentation: 8-10 p.m. ET
Saturday, Oct. 17 (Universal Sports) - 5-7 p.m. ET/Encore Presentation: 10-11 p.m. ET
Sunday, Oct. 18 (NBC Sports) - 1-3 p.m. ET
Sunday, Oct. 18 (Universal Sports) - 5-7 p.m. ET

All the events look pretty yawn worthy except for Ladies, which will feature among others Americans Caroline Zhang (Tiny skater with amazing flexibility and artistry/poor speed and BAD technique on her lutz. Like Tara Lipinski awful, but she's otherwise charming) and Alexe Gilles (I've never seen her skate Senior, but I watched videos of her from Junior regionals and she seems pleasant enough).

Here is what is actually relevant to this competition:

Notice that I am not making fun of Japan's Mao Asada's slightly crossed eyes/ridiculous expression like I did all the time in college. Truly I have become a woman.

VS.

South Korea's Yu Na Kim who as far as I'm concerned has already won the 2010 Olympic gold medal in like every sport even ones she doesn't compete in. This girl is a monster.

I wish there was more depth in Ladies figure skating this year, especially it being an Olympic year, but since there's not I'll enjoy watching these two fight it out year long since, sadly and frankly, I don't see much other competition for Vancouver gold anywhere else in the field.

Here is a video of Yu Na jumping over and over and over again. Best technique since Tonya Harding and that's a damn compliment: