Menagerie!

I wanted to write something about fetishes and exoticizing women from other races, but instead let me tell you about some things you need to read:

Awkward and Definition, Likewise, and Potential all by Ariel Schrag.

And here's why:

Sometimes I wish I had more interesting stories to tell about my sexuality in high school, but considering I never really got laid in high school the stories I do have revolve more around throwing up on myself while trying to ask a boy to a junior dance, the infamous I Like You card on Valentine's Day and me subsequently throwing up on myself, and this one time this girl Megan (first huge girl crush) and I were working on a Bible project at the house of this incredibly rich guy and we were going to bed and she told me to close my eyes and when I opened them she had written "Eat me" on her stomach with an arrow and I didn't know what she meant (I didn't throw up). Actually, I knew exactly what she meant which is why I didn't do it. Oh and the time Noel and I got so bored one night that I told her to have sex with me, but got really bored a few minutes into it and had her stop. She apologized.

Ariel Schrag on the other hand has really sexy, great stories about the trysts of high school "romance" as it were and her stories are really enjoyable to read. I say sexy, because albiet ridiculous and awkward, I occasionally miss the fun of having crushes (I was constantly rejected though!) and wondering whether or not I'd kiss somebody after school while laying around listening to Weezer or whateverthefuck we listened to then. I remember specifically one time I tried really hard to get Megan to kiss me while we were laying in bed in the morning listening to Aqua. No joke. As an adult my seduction techniques are still pretty much the same (turn on music, blink alot and tilt head, awkwardly reference something like the Buffy musical or maybe have you read the new issue of Bust?), but they're also followed by silly adult thoughts like "where is this relationship going?" "will this person kill me in my sleep?" and "did I pay my water bill in the last three months?"

Hint: The answer to all of these questions is resounding silence.

So for questions not like these, go get these books. You should do it this Saturday, because it's Free Comic Book day!