Saturday, January 30, 2010

2009 In Fandoms: Part One.

So I know I haven't updated in a long time (hello, real life!), but I miss writing things down and there's all sorts of geeky shit that I haven't even gotten to force upon you. All of this stuff is already so last year, but here's a recap, for my own records if nothing else, about what I was into/no longer into/over or pulling out the vibrator to celebrate in 2009. Three things at a time.


Don't worry about learning the names of these grown ass women. They've all been let go.

In other words: Now the average age of Hello Project has to be about 15. The first concert I see in Japan will probably end with me talking to Chris Hansen.

The loss of Elder Club was a big fangirl tearjerker for me. They had what current Morning Musume has very little of at the moment: personality. Not everyone was a carbon copy of everyone else. It was also nice to be able to show non-fans clips of Elder Club performances and not have the question, "wait, how old are these girls?" arise in some sort an awkward pause where I have to find the oldest girl in the group and say something like WELL MAIMI IS EIGHTEEN. Elder club was (mostly) older than me and now my Hello!Project fandom is running out of legit, non-creepy excuses.

The other downside of the graduation was Yossy's hair. Why the fuck did they give her that Madonna color and cut? I hate her hair up and I hate it blonde, but I guess it doesn't really matter, because by 2009 she was so thin I couldn't really find her onstage anyways.

2) New fandom obsession: Xena.
Can you believe that, as a card carrying, fantasy following, complete social retard lesbian, I never watched an entire episode of Xena before this year? Me neither. I remember seeing parts of episodes as a kid, but I don't think I was old enough to really figure out what was going on. What is going on, ladies and gentlemen, is some very well written camp goodness that makes me look up embarrassing search terms on Google such as "Xena Gabrielle bdsm uberfic". Hint: if you use this search term you will find some GREAT SHIT. I want to write more about this (and hurt/comfort fic!), but it deserves it's own entry so I'll only give it a brief mention here.

3) Oh, H!P also fired graduated this girl:
Excuse my uncontrollable sobbing.

Hello!Online: Erika Umeda Will Graduate from C-ute!
Entire Internet Community: Great! She was fucking ugly!

Seriously, this is exactly how it went down. I'd like to write something really insightful about how as a feminist and a wota I have such a problem with the inherent worth of women in Japanese entertainment being solely judged by their "kawaii" factor, but instead I'd just like to say: WHAT THE FUCK. LOOK AT HOW FUCKING HOT SHE IS. YOU ARE ALL HATERS AND PROBABLY PEDOPHILES.