Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Geekdom EDIT.

So Topless Robot came out with this article the other day: Most Shameful Nerd Argument Awards for those men or women who have say, pushed a naked girlfriend out of the way to play Bomberman, ended a friendship over whether or not Twin Peaks DVDs were returned without damage, or perhaps had a lively discussion concerning whether or not Tara/Willow should be appropriated outside lesbian culture almost endangering their sweet, sweet romance. I'm sorry, baby!

Basically if the thought of any of this shit makes sense to you you should read the award winners. I thought I was the only one who had ever made someone else cry about whether a book or a movie was more canon than the other, I was wrong.

Also, one time I actually spent an hour reading a Spider-man movie x Star Trek TNG/Voyager crossover fanfiction. The Buffy/ST: Voyager crossover I read was less appealing.

Spike and Angel Making Out.

Monday, September 28, 2009


Rika Ishikawa is my beautiful loligoth princess.

Yossy makes me eat my fucking words and flog myself with some barbed wire for EVER saying that I was finding her less attractive. This is (still) the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. I cannot fangirl hard enough for her. Seriously, normal people don't even understand how I feel about her in this picture, because it's probably not healthy and I don't even mean gay.

The only reason to care anymore part 2.

Li Chun aka Jun Jun is a Chinese idol who joined the Japanese pop group Morning Musume in 2007. Despite the fact they gave her "Fountain Hair" and culture vomit fashions she is still totally cute and squishy. She is also one of three members who actually sounds like a grown woman when she sings.

I like to listen to her sing Ambitious!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Unpopular Opinions! OH NO!

The Beatles are the most overrated band of all time.

People who are really into pirates are normally also not funny.

White, college educated feminists who spend alot of time defending Family Guy, because it's a part of college culture, whilst berating others for liking hiphop/porn/16 year old girls are typically the reason I avoided most other Feminist Studies majors while I was a student.

Medical care is often invasive and uncomfortable, but for your safety you should hold still and consider your readjusting your own anxiety level.

Certain fandoms have more embarrassing fans than others. Jpop fans are some of the worst.

I would eat a dog if it tasted like bacon.

Sarcasm and irony are usually only funny in very small, clever amounts.

The actions of Israel are a justifiable reason for Islamic fundamentalism, although Islamic fundamentalism is not justifiable.

Dane Cook has never been funny.

Hanging out with couples is awkward for everyone who is not in the relationship.

If you use the term "over-dramatic", I will note it.

Enjoying shallow things is not necessarily part of being a shallow person. It just means you have varied interests.

When you're out with a group of friends, pretend you're happy even if you are not, eventually you will be.

Being medicated every day for the rest of your life really is a better alternative to being horribly depressed and anxious.

A dog is not a baby.

You should fill in your eyebrows with shadow if you're going to pluck them, otherwise they'll be too light.

Arts and Crafts and Courtesans

So I've been very slowly working on Deco-den'ing my phone in the last week or so. Tonight I actually finished up the backplate, but I can't find my camera cable to upload pictures. For those unfamiliar with the term it involves taking totally normal objects, like your celly or maybe a compact and gluing shit all over it. Mine is turning out similar to the one above except with little pastel pearls, pink rhinestone hearts, and a giant Hello Kitty bow.

Here are other things catching my fancy this evening:

Jewelry made out of resin, especially these little heart earrings.

Bug collections.

The First Edition of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Random Harlot Table (The doxy at work is $20):

Ruby Rocket, an American cosplayer who Lee linked me to. Can you fangirl a fangirl?

She's gets two mentions, because look at her as Phoenix:

Saturday, September 26, 2009



Plan To Fix Hello!Project

Step One: Take S/mileage, Enjoy Ogawa Saki's stoned glare. Realize that everyone is really way too young.

Step Two: Add Kikkawa Yuu who makes me have discussions with myself about how old seventeen "is".

Step Three: Kitahara Sayaka who is going to age into being the Next Yoshizawa Hitomi, but has no idea yet, because she's like, a neonate.

Step Four: I made this.

Step Five: Replace this current Morning Musume lineup with the above mentioned H!P Eggs.

Step Six: Blog your opinions about the new lineup on the internet, where you can find people to whom shit like this is even relevant.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


This was actually my first ever Hello!Project ship back when I entered the fandom (and I only have one other pairing I enjoy, perverts). I sort of forgot about them until this brand new picture showed up on Hello!Online yesterday. Although Yossy and Makoto are my most favorite members of Momusu ever and I do love to think of them doing gay things together, I have to say that both are TOO DAMN THIN. Also, I miss soft butch Yossy.

Here is a comparison of AW YEAH and TOO DAMN THIN as seen through the years, to show that a restrictive diet really can ruin my enjoyment of any amount of hot:

This picture actually scrambles my brain and renders me unable to function.

Shattered pelvis warning.


Coughing up blood between songs, I'd gather.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Just Because This Skater Is Japanese Doesn't Mean ANYTHING.

Since the skating season gets underway in a few tiny weeks I'd like to say a few things, but mostly I feel sullen and although Japanese Pop normally gets me out of my occasional fits of the blues and is what I most often turn to, sometimes I decide rather to go with it and appreciate silence.

This is how I feel right now, and I remember when I first saw the program. Mollie and I were sitting on the couch in our old dorm and I was forcing her through the Cup of Russia 2005. We watched this girl, who I often forgot existed back before she won the World Championships in 2007 . Miki Ando is often criticized for her lack of expression in performance, but I think it's because they keep choreographing her in sassy or sexy numbers. I think she has a talent for quiet sadness.

American skater Rachael Flatt has a similar style that I'm excited about seeing this year, but she also opens her mouth like a muppet when she does footwork so we'll have to see.

Edit: I often don't hear people talk about things being "endearing" or they use the word incorrectly to mean that something is "sweet" and slightly annoying, instead of something that I see as to be "dear" or showing a sense of gentle affection. How Miki Ando holds her hands next to the side of her face in her spiral sequence, or how they delicately sweep over her collarbone a bit shyly. That is endearing.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Result: You suck and have no confidence, jackass. :( :( :(

At work the fad of the month is enneagrams, little nine tiered personality types that apparently tell you how you cope and what kind of person you are. I sort of think figuring out what of the nine I am is silly, because YOU CAN NEVER HOPE TO GRASP THE SOURCE OF MY POWER, but whatever because at least it isn't vampire novels. Lee and I took tests online tonight to see what we "were" and I got four and five.

Type Four

The Individualist
The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Type Five
The Investigator

The perceptive, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.



In terms of shock level for a normal person, 1 being "this is a diet coke!" and 10 being "Michael Jackson Died!", this rates about a 12 in my fandom.

This girl IS Hello!Project right now. She has the most subunits, the most successful solo career, and despite not being able to sing worth a damn, is probably one of the biggest money makers for Morning Musume ever. She isn't on my top ten favorites list although maybe she should have been, but it's like.. the Beatles without Paul, if the Beatles wore a lot of sequins and had a dance track.

Here are some of my favorite things of Koharu's. Her personality is huge. I will truly miss enjoying her idol work:

Friday, September 18, 2009

A Time To Be Sullen

I didn't realize that the Seishun Bus Guide close up videos were such a treasure trove of angst and lower lips. It's like the director said, "You were adopted".... "get the camera..."

Sullenlove: Fetish or No?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Worst Admission Ever.


So I link them often enough that you wouldn't know, but like many Morning Musume fans I've been slowing falling off the fanwagon since THE ADVENT OF DEPRESSING ASS R&B SINGLES. I won't count Mikan, since that is a happy song that I treasure, but in terms of the last five singles here is where I stand:

1) Resonant Blue: Yes all around. The only time I've ever been attracted to Takahashi Ai was when I saw her on a treadmill staring me down in the video.
2) Naichau Kamo: Yes to the lyrics. Fuck no to the arrangement. The dance was also much too simple and I hate crying in the rain music videos.
3) Blah Blah Oibito: I don't even know the title to this song. It bores me that much.
4) Onna Blah Blah: Again.
5) Nanchatte Renai: Better and I don't think it sounds like #3, despite the fact that liking this single is the most unfavorable opinion on the internet ever and will probably get my non-existant fanclub membership shredded.

But fuck all that cause the new single is AWESOME and has single handedly renewed my FANDOM which you know is pretty intense if you've ever been a part of a fandom:

Originally: Visually I fell in love with Morning Musume, because of the way each girl had a clearly defined personality, vibrant clothing, and incredible cheerfulness that I found so refreshing when I was 20 and angstful.

But I fell in love with the music, because it was like nothing I'd heard in the West before. I enjoyed really out there singles with different styles, not irony not trying for irony, or over production disguised as talent. The producers knew the girl's strengths and weaknesses and let them hit some bad notes, or arranged songs that made no sense at all, but are so fucking addictive that I probably listen to them a few times a day: As for One Day, Sukina Sempai, The Peace, Renai Revolution, Love Machine.

Kimagure Princess seems like a turn back to my beloved Momusu of the past: there are chipmunk voices, I can't figure out the count, I'd be embarrassed to have my friends hear it in the car, "sexy" is mispronounced repeatedly. I've already mentioned not really being a fan, but I also need to say that Takahashi Ai sounds like a goddamn goddess about to rip out my still beating heart on the first chorus. I'd let her.

Thanks Tsunku, for not producing yet another depressing R&B dance track. I feel like it's my first time fangirling.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


So at the dinner I attended I was told to send an update every day of me singing one of the four songs that I'll be performing in OKC so that elder members can go ahead and smooth out really obvious pronunciation errors and shit. I've spend most of this weekend/evening on this song, because I'm covering all of Yurina Kumai's parts AKA 4 lines and the chorus (thankfully the chorus is with the other three girls singing too).

Here is original, yet again, follow the fourth girl to appear with bow on side of head and bangs (OMG LOOK HOW CREEPY GIRL #2 SAKI LOOKS IN THIS CLOSEUP):

This is all the talent you need to be an International Japanese Pop Star:
I'm not supposed to try to sound like her... NO PROBLEM!

EDIT UPDATE: I just gave up and submitted this one:

Monday, September 14, 2009

The pink and blue outfit is actually #8 on my official recovery room list of things I'd like to cosplay.

In other "way too late" news I finally found the Youtube clip of Ayumi Hamasaki's "Ladies Night" music video. Be prepared for goose stepping, BDSM, a maid costume, furry leg warmers, and attack of the clones.

I love the song. I think the video is the story of when Hamasaki wandered into "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and then proceeded to drink the water. And wait is there a feminist message hidden somewhere in here? Or is it possibly a completely anti-feminist message that you should NEVER GO TO LADIES NIGHT EVER.

Judge for yourself:

I thought lyrics might give me a better idea of what the shit this was, but sadly they were of absolutely no help.

Snaps go out to Lee Hiley's astute J-pop observations:
Bubblegum Blues says:
I think it's about her laying on the bed tripping balls

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Western Imperialism, Other Bloggers, Goto Maki.

During my study break tonight I decided to make my usual internet stop by International Wota which is basically a torrent site of information from a few dozen different blogs with updates on J-pop idols with an emphasis on opinion/editorial pieces about fandom and idol life. I was really pleasantly surprised to see that the top article was a piece written about cultural imperialism whether or not Japanese music can really be understood by its Western fans. Overall I think it's a pretty well thought out critique, but there are a few points that I've thought about before, that I don't feel are fully explored in this piece.

When I was an undergrad I remember having a lot of trouble with Gloria Anzaldua's work on Chicana feminisms, not because they weren't well put, but because as a white woman in a liberal arts university I wondered if there wasn't something subversive about translating the Spanish sections of her prose into English for my own study. It seemed to me that language, Spanish, might be being used by the author to not only allow some readers access, but to also suggest that certain passages were written explicitly for some women and my or any other traditional girl in academia's comprehension was besides the point.

I guess I should also mention at this point that I have absolutely no problem with seclusion. There are times when I seriously consider my possibility of living as a lesbian separatist or perhaps something less involved in a co-op since I hate fending for myself so much. I specifically choose to work in an all female environment, because I feel I can express myself more freely there. It drives me absolutely nuts when I hear criticisms against all girls schools, female only spaces, and the like. So the concept of any other cultural/political/economic minority secluding themselves, through language or space, shouldn't be met with suspicion. Not every word or thought or action has to be altered/translated/appealed for the benefit of my white, Western understanding.

So what the fuck does this have to do with anything?

First of all, America is built on that sort of acceptance; anyone can be American because our culture reaches beyond our borders and influences every aspect of non-Americans. But second of all, while Ayumi can conceivably “become” American, an “American” can never conceivably become “Japanese.” You can study the language, you can visit the country, you can live there for twenty years and make it your home, but if you weren’t raised there, can you really embody the true spirit of someone who’s gone through the cultural process of growing up in a country that, though very Westernized, is still undeniably different? Will you ever be more than just a gaijin oddity?

So I of course have issues with the author's inclusionary idea of "America" as an encompassing hug toward all foreign populations (besides the point), but completely agree with the point that the author is subtly but could less subtly point out about Japanese homogeneity. I'd point out however that I tend to see American influence as more of a battering ram of social diplomatic force than something that reaches beyond borders. Besides, if we want to talk about how American music is so universal we can simply look at the amount of energy Time Warner or IMG expands into promoting its Western artists in Japan and call it a day. If Avex or Hello Project had these resources I'm sure I'd be discussing Aya Matsuura during my next lunch break at work and not in the incredibly pathetic way I normally am. In like, you know, a popular relevant way.

Like any art, music is not made in a vacuum. In fact, if the purpose of art is communication (of ideas, of feelings, of shared values), music speaks directly to the social environment in which it was begat. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it and discuss it on a (relatively) superficial level (as many J-pop blogs do), but as Americans living across the ocean (even with really reliable Internet access), does it mean we’ll never be able to truly grasp its central conceit? And if it’s feasible, does it mean we repair, from the ashes of so many trivial Hello! Project and Johnny’s fan blogs, this unique community to which all J-pop fans belong? Or do we break off and revolutionize the way the world perceives Japanese popular music forever?

So here's where I'm like wait what? While I think that the idea of promoting Japanese pop music to my personal friends (which I'm constantly doing), is all great and good, I don't see how the large scale promotion of Japanese music by Western music critics to Western audiences doesn't entirely miss the point the author is trying to make about Western imperialism. If a Western music critic cannot (as this author frets) ever truly understand (probably true) the cultural context in which Japanese pop is produced, why does that have to be a stopping point for criticism in how it fits into a subculture of American youth? The author repeatedly states that it's troubling to review something that doesn't fit into ones personal culture, but in a way the fact that this or any blog about foreign music is telling to how the age of digital communication has altered the consumption of culture.

If I am not sure that Gloria Anzaldua is actually writing anything she's intended for my audience, should I stop reading? If AKB48 sing a song about underage prostitution for gifts in Shibuya and I don't quite understand the context in which that's become such a phenomena am I still allowed to think it's a good song (not even to mention enjoy the uniforms in the video, but the post on that kind of Western imperialism is coming!)

So there's also a bunch of shit on intelligent blogging in there too that I don't even really want to touch, because after this entire critique of something I mostly like (surprising to some after reading everything above), I feel like that's so besides the point. I know I've already conjured up a great feminist academic above as though she were even comparible, but for fucks sake this is Japanese pop. Yes it's important, but it's also about having fun. I'm sorry that so many fans of it are kind of weird and also are super into eating Pocky and watching anime and saying "Kawaii desu!!~~" all the time and I try to work hard at for whatever reason making sure that isn't the image I give off.

That being said I'm done with this post and here is what happens when you become a Japanese pop star, in case everyone wasn't clear before:

1999 -


I debut in less than a month now. I'm nervous.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Still Nonsense.

Alison blogged once that in college I used to Google image search "red panda" or "whale shark" whenever I was particularly upset about the results of a figure skating competition or some social injustice. I haven't done that in awhile and it's a damn shame. Here are some things to look at that help me with my spirits, maybe they will help you with yours.

Obligatory red panda picture aka 'da best animal.

This is actually a lizard called the "Mexican Walking Fish" or something. I like it's funny ears.

I like looking at pictures of the planets, Neptune and Uranus in particular, as they are the ICE planets. Look at all of that frozen methane.

Michishige Sayumi. I could not ever be mad at her if I knew her personally. I would probably let her drive my car drunk if she wanted.

A diagram of Star Trek Universe ships. Check out the E class Enterprise and Voyager in the lower left corner!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Saddest Bastard Award.

So this is a pretty far cry from my earlier post expanding upon the joys of learning girlposes to a techno beat, but I named this blog with the intent to write about feminism and my political concerns as well as to ogle underage succubi. I swear eventually I'll write about them together, because I have all sorts of horrible thoughts about white privilege, exoticizing women of other races, disinfranchising images and how I'm enjoying all three.

This isn't really about that though, although it'd be cool if I could figure out how incorporate J-pop into a post about my early adult angst and my rage against the machine. If I think of a way I'll try to get it in here.

I've rewritten this paragraph five times now, because I don't know how to just get to the point or exactly what I'm trying to say: I got into an argument with my Dad (who I live with) tonight about our political differences and what I feel is an escalating amount of psychological and verbal violence in public discourse. It was my fault we argued (I instigated) and I've already apologized and gone to bed. This really wouldn't be so bad or different if not for the fact that I've spent an unhealthy amount of time lately thinking about my own personal responsibility in our relationship and what I might feel when he is no longer in my life.

You can walk away from a fight. You can leave the room when things get rough. You don't have to cry or fuss, you can just keep your opinion to yourself.

And yet, I wonder how many of these truisms are ingrained in my psyche as a result of being a woman in an incredibly patriarchal household.

As I've gotten older and especially in the last six months I feel like I've really started to show some control over my emotions. Prior to these efforts I never even realized that I had a problem, nor did I ever make any effort to censor anything I was feeling, thinking, or saying. It's definitely been a positive, most notably professionally, that I've made these leeways in improving my "outlook".

But sometimes it's horrible and maybe this is just the human condition.

in the doorway of my demise I stand, encased in the whisper you've taught me

I used to get really all strung up about this Bikini Kill lyric when I was 15, and the fact I've now italicized it in my blog is enough reason for you to stop reading here if you want to. Story is that I wrote it down over and over a lot in notebooks and on my messenger bag or whatever the fuck I was doing back then and it made me feel pretty goddamn prolific to think about. Back then I was pretty angry about everything, which was stupid, but I also dedicated alot of time to writing about my thoughts and advocating what I believed in, which wasn't. I feel a bit washed up telling co-workers about my old endeavors, like working for Feminist Majority Foundation or hosting a website for discussion about gender when I was 16. Simply put, I was involved.

Part of growing up is being a littler fish in a bigger pond.

Part of learning to control your emotions is learning to be happy with what you have.

Don't worry about the little things.

It's true that I'm a happier person now that I'm in the process of learning to pick my battles, to overlook some discrepancies. I also wonder what I've lost though. Ultimately it's worth not fighting with my father; when he leaves my life I will also be completely alone here. By here I mean, in existence.

Here's another one:

Guilt is a powerful motivator.

Stuff I Will Do In Public.

Here are the dance shots of the four songs I will be performing in OKC in October. Not surprisingly, I'm actually more concerned about learning these moves than I am about my graduate school midterms, my credit card debt, or the fact that I just ate three chalupas for my afternoon snack.

Morning Musume - Shouganai Yume Oibito. The song itself bores me to death even though from what I understand it's about a "Hopeless Dream Chaser" and "tears falling on your shirts as [I] iron them". Sounds almost like feminist fun! Except that the end message is "stick it out" instead of "overthrow your patriarchal relationship". The costumes are beautiful and easy to dance in so of course we won't be wearing them. The dance isn't bad, it mostly seems to involve pointing, a chicken flap and let me also point out that at 1:04 you get to put your arms around a girl and shimmy around her ribcage. Considering I'm taller than almost everyone involved in my group I guarantee I'll be doing the feeling up during that move.

Morning Musume - Nanchatte Renai. Why the hell are all Morning Musume's new singles so goddamn depressing? Best Line: "Replacing you would be as easy as buying a new TV set". I've already said that the costumes look nice, if not not breathable. I love the dance. I'm already singing SHOULDER SHOULDER BALLERINA RUN!!! while practicing. There's a lot of needless frolicking from place to place. There's also "the vogue", and something that reminds me of a early 20th century gold prospector checking out the Colorado River.

Also, guess who got a part "rapping"?

Berryz Koubou - Dakishimete Dakishimete. THERE ARE LASERS EVERYWHERE, WHAT ARE THEIR HANDS DOING?!?! It's probably the most difficult and interesting dance despite the fact the outfits are culture vomit. 2:54 is the best move and I look forward to showing it to my friends. I also like "punch the air" and "this building is on fire!"

Omakase Guardian - Guardians 4. If you can or can't tell it's a song for a children's anime that supposedly doesn't suck. That being said, the dance for the song features some strip club classics like everything that happens from 2:33 onward. There's also an unfortunate Hitler salute somewhere near the beginning. Also our outfits will have velcro on them, which is a new development. Apparently, after this song we're going to rip off the cloaks! Sounds age appropriate!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Debut Costumes! Kyaa DESU!~

In less than a month I will be on stage or across your bathroom floor in these very costumes! I assume this means we'll be performing Dakishimete Dakishimete, Omakase Guardian!, and Nanchatte Renai for sure.

Fun Fact: One of these idols is 14 years old, which means if I met her in the context I normally meet 14 year old girls I'd be filling out a CPS report.

I'll be curious about my ability to dance in this garb. You can't see them there, but the shoes are high heeled fuck me kitten boots with a platform. The bodice also looks really tight and not incredibly breathable. However,SMALL HAT.

From left to right I am completely fine with two, four, five, and six. I don't get why Maasa (far right) is wearing a Garland "window treatment", but I'll take it over two different color hiking boots. Even though these get ups are the most "every day" costuming options of the three things I will be wearing (I've seen the star tights at Forever 21), they are my least favorite. I'm not sure if this says something about me, but it probably does. However, LEATHER COLLARS.

No really.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Behind the Times.

So after exhibiting a lot of avoidant behaviors in relation to Nice Girl Project, I finally watched a THE Possible MV and was really impressed. I read some complaints about the choppy camera work, but I have no idea what these people are talking about, I think it's beautiful and the composition of the song isn't half bad either.

I guess I sort of see why fangirls are losing their shit for this bunch.

Friday, September 4, 2009


Thanks for keeping the dream alive, ladies.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Happy Thursday!

I have no idea why someone tagged this "The Mind". Perhaps she's good at differential equations.